Bialogue: Bisexual + Queer Politics

Bialogue is an activist/political social justice group working on issues of local, regional, national & international interest that effect the bisexual, non-monosexual, queer-identified and greater LGBTQ+ Community.
Bialogue: Social Justice Warriors and darn proud of it!
Our mission is to dispel myths and stereotypes, to address biphobia homophobia, transphobia and bisexual erasure, to educate the public on the facts and realities of bisexuality, non-monosexuals, queer-identified and all the other not 100% straight and not 100% gay/lesbian people who occupy the vast middle of the Kinsey scale's Bell Curve and to advocate for our Community's right to dignity, freedom to live without the burdens of prejudice and harassment and for our full equality under the law.

Find Bisexuals: in USA on planet earth
Chat with Bisexuals (in the USA)
Bisexual Men on facebook
Bisexual Women on facebook

Bisexual Conferences
   ○ 2012 Transcending Boundaries Conference October 26th-28th 2012 Springfield MA USA
   ○ 2013 Creating Change Conference (CC13) January 23-27 2013 Atlanta GA USA
   ○ BECAUSE 2013 2013 Minneapolis–Saint Paul MN USA
   ○ Bi Lines VI: A Celebration of Bisexual Writing in Reading Music & Culture June 2013 NYC USA
   ○ BiCon 2013 July 18-21 2013 University of Edinburgh Scotland

Bisexual Magazines & Bloggers
      Bi MagazineFacebookTumblr
      Bi MediaFacebook
      Bi Bloggers
      Bi radical (Bisexual-Theory/Queer-Theory) • Tumblr

Famous 'Must-read' Bisexual-Theory/Queer-Theory Articles/Essays
      Bisexuality FAQ
      Bisexuality does not reinforce the gender binary
      Words, binary and biphobia, or: why “bi” is binary but “FTM” is not
      Being Bisexual Means That You’re Only Attracted to Two Genders
      The monosexual privilege checklist
      Why I identify as bisexual + differences and similarities
      Way Beyond the Binary

Bisexuals = people who people of Same Gender as themselves + ♥ people of Different Genders/Gender Presentations from themselves

Posts I Like
Who I Follow
Posts tagged "monosexism"
The institution of heterosexism is based on a mutually exclusive heterosexual/homosexual framework. This heterosexist paradigm posits two sexual orientations on either side of a "fence" that draws the line where privilege begins and ends. Heterosexuals are on the "normal/good" side and homosexuals are on the "abnormal/evil" side. The line separates and protects "us" from "them," while it assures members of each side of what they are not. This line also effectively marginalizes lesbians and gay men as "other" and is the core of homophobia.

Furthermore, lesbian, gay, and heterosexual people are invested, and find a sense of security in being the "other" to each other, and unite in the fact that they are only attracted to either the "same" or the "opposite" gender/sex.

This sets up another "us" vs. "them" dynamic which effectively marginalizes bisexual people as "other." Integral to this dynamic is the automatic assumption people can be defined by the gender/sex of their current or potential romantic interest. For example: two women are assumed to be lesbians in a "lesbian" relationship; two men are assumed to be gay in a "gay" relationship; and a man and woman are assumed to be heterosexual in a "heterosexual" relationship.

However, any, or all of these people could be bisexual. And depending upon monogamy and non-monogamy agreements and choices, any, or all of these folks could have sexual behavior with more than one gender/sex whether they identify as bisexual or not.
What is Heterosexism? from What Does Biphobia Look Like? pub 2014 by LGBT Resource Center UC San Diego
I need to say that I don’t think this is actually a discussion about bi women’s right to reclaim the word “dyke”. I think this is a discussion whose purpose is to mark a clear boundary between lesbians and bi women, in order to place lesbians as legitimate/queer and bi women as illegitimate/straight.

It imposes a differentiation that in many cases doesn’t exist in daily life, for the sole purpose of fortifying the lesbian identity against a symbolic “bisexual” invasion.

In many ways, this particular discussion is not “real” but simply an excuse. Take for example the fact that my critics don’t discuss bi men and “faggot”, and the lack of any discussion about lesbians with “passing privilege” reclaiming “dyke”. Do recall that in many cases, bi-identified and lesbian-identified women’s lived experiences are very close or even indistinguishable.

So why are bi women singled out? Biphobia.
Shiri Eisner from Bidyke” and the appropriation of identities pub 6 October 2013. Additional credit to emiello for the timely reminder of it’s existance.


Re: monosexism and biphobia. Do you use these words interchangeably? I notice more and more people are treating the two as synonymous and it doesn’t really sit right with me.

Personally, I don’t.

But before I answer, I have to clarify something first, because a lot of people seem to think I invented the word “monosexism”: So, while this is incredibly flattering, the fact is I didn’t. This word has been in use in bisexual movements from the 1990s or even earlier. I’m willing to take credit for popularizing it on tumblr, though :p

Now to my answer:

I see biphobia as a particular aspect of monosexism, they are definitely not interchangeable. Monosexism, as I see it, refers to the structural privileging of monosexual identities and behaviours. So, monosexism refers, for example, to the belief that one can only be either straight or gay, that it is better to be monosexual than bisexual*, that only monosexual identities are “real”, that monosexual issues are the only ones deserving of attention, etc. Monosexism causes bisexual erasure (from media, literature, art, TV and film, etc.), it causes discrimination when it comes to activist priorities, budgeting, etc. It causes the social isolation that leads many bis to have poor health and mental health, and prevents proper treatment and support that might help alleviate them. It keeps bi* people “low” on the “pecking order” and creates all sorts of oppression. I see monosexism as the main factor responsible for all the horrible statistics in the Bisexual Invisibility report, for example. So, basically, monosexism is the system, the base structure. It is everything which isn’t directly aimed at bi* people but nonetheless has the effect of eradicating our existence or legitimacy.

I also have to say that monosexism is a structure that first and foremost comes from heterosexism and the patriarchy - 99.99999999% of it comes from heterosexual culture. So for me, monosexism is a term that allows us to look at all the ways that the “broader” culture creates oppression against bisexuals*. In addition, it allows us to consider monosexism as a structure that affects everyone instead of just bi people - for example, by limiting other people’s options.

Biphobia, on the other hand, is direct negative attitudes and treatment of bi people. It’s one specific result of monosexism. So here we can think about the many negative attitudes and behaviours specifically aimed against bis*. For example, when people refuse to date bisexuals*, when bis are represented in stereotypical ways in the media, when bi women become the target of sexual violence (because they’re perceived as particularly sexy sexual objects), when bi people are discriminated at their jobs because of their bisexuality (for example, because they’re perceived as unreliable, flaky, unable to handle responsibility or commit to their job), and, yes - when bi people are treated badly by L, G, and T communities.

I think it’s important to make that distinction, because these are two completely different levels of oppression working against bisexuals - and of course, I think that the room that biphobia occupies right now in bi political dialogues is unproportionate, and that we need to pay lots more attention to structural, heterosexual, monosexism.

[For a teeny bit more on that, here’s the snippet from my book where I define the two terms]

And I’m just gonna go ahead and make this rebloggable, because I think people might find that helpful :)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
the difemina tag is only for lesbians, you dumb bitch
bialogue-group bialogue-group Said:

I don’t know … maybe it’s just me … but sometimes I feel as if there is a wee bit of monosexism as well as biphobia in the mainstream Lesbian and Gay Communities as well as in the Straight Overculture.

and PS This was the Actual Point of the difemina tag when started at the beginning of July 2014


I think this is monosexism, y’all.

a tag which could be shared for all women who are attracted to other women, be they lesbians, bisexual, pan, etc - one that is shared and not already in use (e.g. #biphobia #sapphobia, #lesbophobia, etc). A tag for shared experiences which promotes solidarity and is open for all ladies interested in ladies (regardless of whether or not they have other attractions or are only interested in women.) this would absolutely be transwomen inclusive.

When targets of microaggressions attempt to point out the offensive nature of remarks and actions from perpetrators, they are told that their perceptions are inaccurate, that they are oversensitive, or that they are paranoid. In other words, they are out of touch with reality. The experiential realities of those in power are imposed upon less powerful groups by denying their perceptions and life experiences. Interestingly, some have asserted or found that those groups who are least empowered have the most accurate assessment of reality. Such a conclusion makes common sense, as those in power do not need to understand disempowered groups to survive or do well, while those without much power must actively discern the mindset and motives of those with power in order to survive. Women in the workforce must understand the thinking of their male counterparts to do well, but the reciprocal is not true for men.



bisexual? looking for positive, accurate representation in media? boy have i got some upsetting news for you

Actual bisexuals: “I’m bisexual.”
Bisexuality in the media = “I don’t like labels.”

Excellent point! Never noticed that before but you are spot on.

(1) Here’s why I HATE my school’s center for diversity and inclusion, which is ENTIRELY run by gay men, lesbians and their straight allies. First they held a seminar on identity for incoming freshman 'explaining' how if you are bisexual you are (probably faking it and introducing their ‘coming out’ group *hint* hint* hint*) cis and you only date cis people. And how B is for Binary and Binary is Bad.

(2) And then they told everybody about all these other wonderful 'identities' like pannie and polly and pomo that mean you are SO totes into all the 'different' new and exciting genders. And then when we want to have a bi table and presentation at the rainbow pride event at graduation they kind of laughed at us we could table with the open & questioning group BUT that we were Too Confused to be included becasue WE COULDN’T EVEN FIGURE OUT WHAT NAME TO CALL OURSELVES.

(3) And BTW the lesbian leadership and gay guys chat groups? They don’t talk about or deal with transgender and non-binary issues because 'obviously' gay men are men who love other men and lesbians are women who love other women so what does THAT have to do with the 'gender binary'?
Three-part (as labeled) Anonymous "Ask" to Midwest Bi* Activist (via midwestbiactivist)

The function, the very serious function, of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being.

Somebody says you have no language, so you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly, so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up.

None of that is necessary. There will always be one more thing.

~Toni Morrison, from Black Studies Center Public Dialogue. Part 2  recorded May 30, 1975 at Portland State University.

Note: An archivist at Portland State University recently uncovered rare speeches given at the university during the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. One of the speeches uncovered is an extremely powerful and insightful speech given by Toni Morrison, the legendary artist and intellectual.

Dr. Herukhuti comments as follows: “Substitute monosexism for racism in this statement and it will give you an important perspective on the discourse of the last six months (at least) on bisexuals.

Do this without trying to draw false equivalence between monosexism and racism. Just allow the truth in the altered statement to wash over you.
” (via sacredsexualities)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
hi! what does 'GGGG' refer to??
bialogue-group bialogue-group Said:


It refers to the fact that in terms of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) issues, the G (in this case referring to gay cis men) is what is emphasized the most and given the most attention, sometimes the only attention.

I believe the term “GGGG” was coined by Shiri Eisner in her book Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution. She specifically uses it to talk about how “gay marriage” is pitched as the LGBT rights issue of the century, when there are far more important and often life-threatening things at stake for the less privileged members of the community. These issues, like mental health, homelessness, domestic abuse, and street violence, are ignored in favor of dealing with the more lighthearted issue of marriage equality. The institution of marriage carries with it a whole other set of issues for many queer-identified people, which you can read more about here.

In other words, lesbians, bisexuals, trans people, and other gender identities/ sexual orientations are left out a lot of the time, and the focus is on the cisgender gay men. 

This also happens a lot within media representation, which is the context I was using it in in my post about Geography Club. You may also see or hear the terms “LGGG” or “GLGG,” meaning that some lesbian representation was given as well, but that was the extent of the diversity.

For example, movies or TV shows will sometimes feature a gay character (almost always a conventionally attractive, middle-class, white male) and then be praised by the media for “dealing with LGBT issues” or “appealing to an LGBT audience,” when in reality they are only representing a specific part of the community, and the one that happens to be the most privileged already.

I’m not saying we don’t need gay characters. I’m saying we need to be honest about representation and realize that the vast majority of “LGBT” media is actually just gay media. We need more diversity. Absolutely, we need gay characters, but it would be nice if they were more diverse (people of color, undocumented people, differently-abled people, working-class people, etc). And we absolutely need more representation of non-monosexual identities and trans people.

Sorry for the long-winded response. Hope that helps!





This blog supports bisexual women having relationships with men if that’s what makes them happy, and this blog defends their right to not be called hetero for these life choices.


To expand on what everyone is expressing: We support ALL freely chosen relationships between consenting adults of whatever configuration that brings joy to all the participants.

We further support the right of people to publicly self-identify as seems right to them (in a healthy, safe, non-coercive environment) and to have those self-identifications honored and indeed celebrated.

We point out that this issue of having people’s self-identification in terms of sex/gender and sexual orientation be accepted is of particular concern to those in the asexual, bisexual/(other non-monosexual), trans, androgynous, intersex, and gender non-conforming communities. Whether or not someone is currently in a relationship; whether or not they/their relationship appears stereotypically Cis, Normative, Queer or whatever, to you the observer.

For 29 years now I’ve fought for the right
For people to love just whoever they like
But the right-on and righteous are out for my blood
Now I live with my kids and a woman I love
Well if gay liberation means freedom for all
A label is no liberation at all
I’m here and I’m queer and I do what I do
And I’m not gonna wear… a "straight" jacket for you

~Tom Robinson, Bisexual Musician + Activist from Sing If Your Glad To Be Gay

In other words, you don’t have the right to take away Anyones "Queer Card", get it?