Now Playing Tracks

Quick question for the gay community

bidyke:

everythingbutharleyquinn:

desliz:

svetlana-del-rey:

pastimperfection:

lesbianesetrini:

cuntbutter:

squirtelle:

Why do you all frown upon bisexuals? I’ve sat in on numerous conversations with lesbians/gays and their attitudes towards bisexuals stumps me. I don’t get it, explain to me what’s so horrible about being bisexual.

A lot of people see bisexual people as unfaithful and whorish….

Its not horrible but I don’t think it’s fair. It’s like they wanna have their cake and eat it too whenever they want. that’s fine if that’s what you choose to do, but I would never date a bi girl or woman. I see it like this, you had sex with a dude last month and then you want me to eat you? Nah, I’ll pass. in my head I’ll feel like I’m eating pussy that’s mixed with penis. That’s my theory.

I’ve never encountered this attitude towards bisexuals with someone I was unlucky enough to get nearly in bed with, but it did happen once when a guy I was casually sleeping with disliked another guy I was casually sleeping with.  (To be fair, I soon disliked them both.)  It grossed him out that he was rubbing up against flesh that had also been enjoyed by a dude he was not bros with.  That he was, you could say, sharing my body with that other. 


It took me some time to understand why his disgust disgusted me; I eventually got as far as, I’m not a sandwich, but by then the whole fight was mooted by his personality. 


I hate the idea that my body is somehow imprinted, smudged up, by the people I’ve gone to bed with.  That idea bothers me even if the only bodies that have the power to contaminate me are male bodies.  Maybe that makes it worse.  I don’t like the idea that I’m diminished in the eyes of any lover by the way I’ve used my sexed body—how many people have touched me or come inside me or fucked me over and embarrassed me or taken me in or shown me out.  Sex is loyalty and regret: every woman you go to bed with carries around sordid experience. 


And the idea of sex as an indulgence to be enjoyed or reserved strikes me as wrongheaded.  There’s no reason a woman can’t fuck bunch of men and then fall in love with one woman and love her forever.  Neither invalidates the other. 

If you can’t go down on a bisexual woman without thinking of whatever men might have touched her, that’s your lookout.  But no bisexual woman belongs to any of the men she’s had sex with, even if she did really enjoy it, and you can’t expect any bisexual woman to respond well to the idea that she’s had too much semen in her to attract a nice girl like you.

Yes which is why I find absurd people bringing up the idea that in these discussions, bi women should shut up because lesbians are not privileged over them (true) and therefore gross misogynist comments about how you’re basically a semen receptacle forever stained by the touch of man are somehow not horribly offensive

it’s also a really dumb bb gay idea because thanks to heterosexism and internalized homophobia, most lesbians have had some form of sexual contact with men and may have even (gasp!) married them and/or had kids with them

you can get along that way if you live in a tiny pocket of 20-year-old cis gold stars, but unless you’re interested in making people ashamed of disclosing their history to you, it’s not very functional in the wider world

I was gonna reblog this without comment but now my little grey cells* are stirring a bit so I’ll make a stab an additional comment (with an acknowledgment that the way the original conversation was structured was cissexist in the extreme).

Yes, to everything that has gone above! Judging women’s bodies this way is gross and misogynistic to the extreme!! Yuck!!!! There are few things that upset-borderline-trigger me like the idea of women who have sex with cis men as semen-receptacles.

The idea that women’s bodies are tainted by intimate contact with cis men is profoundly disturbing and I think plays into this collective unconscious idea that women’s bodies aren’t autonomous but ‘belong’ to the world so therefore accessing them you access their whole history and are somehow personally marked by it yourselves. I’m not articulating this very well either, something is niggling that I’m trying to express… in how women’s bodies are never seen as private. 

I mean, the depth of paranoia it takes to believe that a self-cleaning, constantly regenerating organ like the human skin somehow is permanently marked with sperm is… I mean I honestly find it profoundly upsetting and disturbing that anyone would perceive my body in such a fashion, as containing the grime of every person who has ever accessed it, rather than something autonomous and whole, that belongs only to me.

I think the implications of attitudes like this for survivors of violence and sexual assault are troubling and already deeply entrenched in society too.

As a queer sex worker who has a friendship network of other queer sex workers, we come up across this attitude all the fucking time. About the ways our bodies are seen as permanently marked by our work, that we’re somehow not queer or less queer, and how that relates to incredibly stigmatising and discriminatory attitudes against us, that there are large numbers of people  - of queer people! - who would rather choke than touch a dirty whore because no amount of scrubbing and showering will ever get the filthy mark of our clientele from our bodies and how that will somehow infect anyone we have recreational sex with and how incredibly upsetting that is as something to be imposed upon with - that our bodies somehow aren’t wholly our own, just because of who we may have had sex with.

ugh I don’t know if this made any sense.

*I’ve been watching way too much Poirot

OMG. I know this sounds weird, but reading this thread has just made me very. Very. Happy. A bifeminist discussion! How awesome!

<3

[TW] Total Fail! of Ignorance, Biphobia and Bigotry on display

gaycactusandlyingunicorn:

bisexuality is attraction to cis men and cis women people who can ♥ people of same gender as themselves + can ♥ people of different genders/gender presentations from themselves

bisexuality always implies two multiple genders

bisexuality leaves no room for was the first orientation to actively recognize and celebrate all genderqueer, gender non-conforming, gender variant, trans* as well as cis people

bisexuals historically would not be are extremely comfortable with and supportive of their partner transition

you can‘t always be genderqueer/trans/outside-the-binary and be bisexual just like over a third of the Bisexual Community is/has always been including many of the founder and current leaders of the Bisexual Community are.

you’re not bisexual! AND since historically the Bisexual Community is the only one who has always been welcoming and has never been into identity policing you can identify yourself however you want including anthrosexual, ambisexual, coming out, fluid, multisexual, no labels, non-monosexual, omnisexual, pansexual, polysexual, pomosexual, questioning, queer or whatever else seems good and appropriate to you personally. AND you will STILL Be welcomed, protected and assisted by the Bisexual Community.

*sigh* where and why do people get these dumb ideas and all this hatred anyway? Lots and lots of self-hatred as well as internalized biphobia, classism, femmephobia, homophobia and transphobia on display I fear.

a comment re. labels

gymgnostic:

flirting-with-your-timelord:

you never say yes, not quite no.: Is bad for me to want to label myself?
Is bad for me to want to label myself?

Recently,  I’ve become very confused over my sexuality… I’ve always considered myself a straight person. However, over the last few months, I’ve becoming increasingly attracted to both genders.

From the start, I’ve always felt the need to label myself. Am I bisexual, or staight.. I know alot of people say that you shouldn’t label myself, but I feel like I’m only going to be fully comfortable with my sexuality if I do.

I have days where I’m pretty sure I’m straight. I have days where I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual. Does anyone else have this? And can someone give me any tips on getting through it?

#am i bisexual? #heterosexuality #labelling #my mind is messed up &gt;.&lt; #LGBT

GymGnostic replies:  It’s only a label if you make it so. Let the “word” be the start of a conversation to which you’ll add/subtract meaning, clarify as u see fit.

» added after the fact for this repost »

You may find that different labels/words fit different situations.  In my case, for most folks I identify as Bisexual. Other times, it does make sense to identify as Queer.. after all, given the odd attractions I have and the unique activities that bring me sexual satisfaction, I am rather queer.  In either case, the conversation is what makes my sexuality intelligible to the person who I’m speaking with… And if I’m not speaking to anyone, it hardly matters what I call myself.

(Source: deducingponds)

new submission: Biphobia

bisexualftw:

I think the reason why there’s so much biphobia is because people don’t get taught about bisexuality in school. I, for example, was taught that there’s only gay and straight. The teacher didn’t mention bisexuality, pansexuality, asexuality etc. 

People need to learn about bisexuality in school.  If schools just teach about two sexual orientations, of course there will be people saying that the other orientations don’t exist. 

Sorry that this is so badly written, English is not my first language. 

Lara, a 13-year old bisexual girl. 

Don’t worry Lara, you are perfectly understandable and get an important point across very clearly. Thank you for posting.

bisexual-community: DEFINITION OF BISEXUALITY: I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree. ~ from “Selected Quotes” by Robyn Ochs
Zoom

bisexual-community:

DEFINITION OF BISEXUALITY: I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted - romantically and/or sexually - to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree. ~ from “Selected Quotes” by Robyn Ochs

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union