Keepin' It...REAL! Does Bisexuality Exist?

Over the years, I’ve been in debates, classroom discussions, face-to-face arguments, and submitted enough online comments on a few blogs and web forums regarding the existence of bisexuality. I’ve argued on the side of the affirmative because I believe that it does. The question of its existence often gets asked and personally, I simply don’t see why some people have a problem with it.

After nearly 10 years of active debate and argument on this one issue, I’m beginning to grow a bit weary of hearing the same rhetoric and baseless arguments which people in both the straight and surprisingly, the LGBT communities like to present …

Hypocrisy: How Quickly Some in the LGBT Community Forget Frankly, I find it appalling, if not downright hypocritical, for any gay person to declare with so-called certainty and based only on their closed-minded “expert opinions”, that there is no one who is truly bisexual.

How quickly some in the LGBT community seem to forget that for generations (long before the majority of people reading this were born), that there were many people, including some medical doctors, psychiatrists and religious leaders who years ago (as some do now), challenged the very existence of homosexuality. They said, “Homosexuality is considered to be a choice and a lifestyle by some people”, adding that: “it is simply unnatural for anyone to be a homosexual, for it opposes the grand design of God and Nature”. They also said they don’t believe anyone can be born gay or can have same-sex attractions and desires. There are people today who still believe as their forefathers and who continue to promote and preach that everyone is born heterosexual …”just as God intended”.

Now you can understand that whenever I hear someone, particularly a gay person, express doubts and objections to the existence of bisexuality, I have to take a stand, as I know well the history of bigotry in this country and throughout the world. I’m willing to give the same argument of similar historical fact regarding the beliefs about homosexuality when it comes to defending the existence of bisexuality.

It’s Not Your Sexuality; How Could You Ever Understand? People who are not bisexual would not understand the attractions and desires or the thought processes, emotions and feelings of a bisexual person any more than those who are heterosexual could ever understand those of a homosexual. No one is an expert on the sexuality of another person. (via Bisexual People of Color)

Bisexuals Worthy of Celebration During Black History Month: June Jordan

projectqueer:

by Faith Cheltenham

Just in time for Black History Month, I’d like to take a moment to remember the many black bisexual folks who came before. Famous black folks who identify as bisexual or have a proud history of sexual fluidity include: Alvin Ailey, Josephine Baker, Countee Cullen, Lee Daniels, Grace Jones, Hattie McDaniel, Me’shelle Ndegeochello, Little Richard, Sapphire and Frank Ocean. For more names click here.

Today, I single out for attention noted and esteemed poet, author and thought leader, June Jordan (1936-2002).

[I]f I am not free and if I am not entitled equal to heterosexuals and homosexuals then homosexual men and women have joined with the dominant heterosexual culture in the tyrannical pursuit of E Pluribus Unum and I a bisexual woman committed to cultural pluralism and, therefore to sexual pluralism, can only say, you better watch your back!” —June Jordan On Bisexuality and Cultural Pluralism, in Affirmative Acts

Like June Jordan, I am of West-Indian/African descent and bisexual! According to this great article:

Jordan derived her bisexual and biracial perspectives from having transgressed two more societal boundaries — an interracial marriage with a white man, and having given birth to a biracial child, both scoffed at during her time by blacks and whites in this country. But it is Jordan’s “boundary crossings” that gave her the intellectual breath on an issue, and by extension she gave us a new way to see ourselves and the world.

And in this amazing piece by the Rev. Irene Munroe, she explains why we all have to work hard to remember Jordan’s legacy, because like too many others her legacy can fall within the cracks of identity politics. Munroe states:

Within lesbian circles, the place of bisexual women within the queer women’s community was often marginal, if not non-existent, and their commitment to feminism was always suspect. Many lesbians believed that any women who had the ability to sexually love another women had a political obligation to identify as lesbian. Others believed that the compulsory nature of heterosexuality in our culture precluded all possibilities of women freely choosing a heterosexual relationship.

That’s a sentiment I’ve heard but rejected my whole life, just because I can love a woman (or a man) doesn’t means I have to. My body is mine and belongs to me; the freedom of my bisexuality is the ability to define love within my own heart, instead of someone else’s. Munroe goes on to speak about destiny in a way I found encouraging and uplifting:

Bisexuals are individuals who transgress the artificial socially constructed boundary of gender identity as well as the biologically constructed boundary of sex. Called “gatekeepers” by the Dagara of West Africa and “Two Spirit” by many Native Americans, bisexuals in these cultures were seen as having a special spiritual inheritance and earthly destiny.

Never have I heard so well put the calling I hear in my heart! Many thanks to Heron Greensmith for turning me onto June Jordan. I highly recommend you check out Heron’s excellent legal article, “Drawing Bisexuality Back Into The Picture: How Bisexuality Fits Into LGBT Legal Strategy Ten Years After Bisexual Erasure”

What does casual racism look like in LGBTQ spaces? A lot like casual racism everywhere else.

Casual racism thinks mixed race people are “exotic,” penis size is determined by race according to “some studies” that probably don’t exist, black women are aggressive, and just about every other common racial stereotype under the sun.

Really, stereotypes fuel casual racism in all its forms.

Casual racism also thinks that LGBTQ people have transcended all responsibility for dealing with racial issues.

For example, if you’re a queer person of color who wants to vocalize a racial concern in a predominantly white queer space and casual racism rears its head, you could be accused of being divisive (extra irony points if you were pointing out divisiveness that actually exists).

Sometimes casual racism masquerades as inclusion or open mindedness. For example, there are some gay people who go out of their way to date someone of another race just to say they’ve done it.

Such gays then receive the Congratulatory Cookie of Open Mindedness from people of color for letting us sleep with them.
But not really, because dating someone because of their race is as ridiculous as rejecting someone because of their race.

The same applies to predominately white gay groups that go out of their way to snag token people of color (oblivious to the fact that these spaces don’t always feel inclusive to the people of color in question).

Tokenism may seem progressive on its surface, but it’s really just another form of othering.

So if you see casual racism, remember it. And talk about it.
Notice if you’re ever guilty of it and, if you are, take responsibility for it.

I would say explain it to other white LGBTQ people, but it’s frustrating when it takes a white person saying the same thing people of color have been saying for ages to convince other white people to change their actions.

Instead, tell them to take the race related concerns of LGBTQ people of color seriously – as in listen to us.

As LGBTQ people, we get silenced all the time, told we’re too sensitive, told not to flaunt our sexuality.

Sexual minorities of color can find themselves silenced further when their concerns about race are dismissed by the predominantly white, mainstream LGBTQ community.

Let’s keep working to change that.

Jarune Uwujaren, “How White LGBTQ People Can Be Inclusive Of People Of Color,” Everyday Feminism 2/5/13 (via racialicious)

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi's of Colour #8

bisofcolour:

There were never any bi’s of colour in the past.

Also known as: This is just the latest trend.

Most likely to come from: Black lesbian, gay and trans* people.

The history of people of colour has been ignored and erased for hundreds of years. The word, bisexual, like homosexual and heterosexual, are relatively recent additions to our language. However bisexual behaviour has been going on throughout time. From the Babylonian writings in Gilgamesh, to the poems and life of Langston Hughes in the Harlem Renaissance, bisexuals of colour have always existed.

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi's of Colour #7

bisofcolour:

Hot black bi babes? Cool!

Also known as: I can finally get a date!

Most likely to come from: Straight and bisexual white men.

There’s a stereotype of a hot bi babe who will be young, attractive and sexually adventurous. This is often compounded by ethnicity. Black and minority ethnic people are often seen as hyper-sexual. We are supposed to be wild, passionate creatures. However this myth can lead to us receiving unwanted sexual advances, harassment and violence. Bi’s of Colour are in charge of our own bodies. Who we share it with is up to us.

Mythbusters for Bi’s of Colour #6

bisofcolour:

We blacks have to stick together.

Also known as: What will the neighbours think?

Most likely to come from: Black straight, lesbian, gay and trans people.

Black and minority ethnic people are not a monolith; trying to force that view stifles all of us. Diversity only adds to the strength of a community. It is a good thing to support people who make up our groups. Bi’s of Colour are not divisive or confused. We want to celebrate who we are.

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi’s of Colour #5

bisofcolour:

Isn’t it against your religion?

Also known as: I don’t want to be here when your god decides to smite your ass.

Most likely to come from: Black and white straight people, regardless of their faith.

Religion and Faith can be a positive part of our lives. There are bisexuals of colour who are Muslim, Christian, Pagan and more. There are also bisexuals of colour who do not practice any religion at all. It is a false assumption to expect all people of colour to follow a faith, and for that faith to condemn anything other than heterosexuality.

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi’s of Colour #4

bisofcolour:

Black bisexuals spread sexually transmitted diseases.

Also known as: AIDS is all your fault.

Most likely to come from: White and black straight people. Sadly, also from black and white lesbians

Unsafe sexual practices and intravenous drug use are the most common ways to spread sexually transmitted diseases. Bi’s of colour are no more likely to contract or pass on a sexually transmitted disease than any other sexually active person. Safer sex and regular health checks benefit us all. Stigma and shame for our sexual orientation doesn’t help anyone; in fact, it can make someone less likely to look after themselves.

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi’s of Colour #3

bisofcolour:

Blacks are exotic, so I guess it’s natural you’d be bisexual.

Also known as: Let’s get back to our roots. Naked!

Most likely to come from: White people of all sexual orientations.

There’s a common myth that people of colour (especially women) are exotic novelties. We are often fetishized by white people. This is also the case in white lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities. We are seen as sexual objects for the pleasure of white people only. Bi’s of colour aren’t solely interested in sex. There are celibate bisexuals of colour, and those who are part of the asexual spectrum. Regardless of our sexual activity, it is up to us how we chose to explore it. It is insulting to assume our orientation is connected to the colour of our skin.

Bi's Of Colour: Mythbusters for Bi's of Colour #2

bisofcolour:

You’re copying white people.

Also known as: You’re a sell-out

Most likely to come from: Black straight people.

This myth is damaging and hurtful. Black and minority ethnic bisexuals often face isolation and exclusion from our ethnic communities, from lesbian, gay, transgender communities, and from white bisexuals. Racism, and biphobia affect our daily lives. It can be difficult to find a place where we feel we belong. Bisexuality, like all other sexual orientations is not something just for white people. Bi’s of colour are proud of our heritage. We are not selling out of our lives.