Bialogue: Bisexual + Queer Politics

Young ● Queer ● Mom? Teen parenthood is not just a straight...

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:14:28 -0400

Young ● Queer ● Mom? Teen parenthood is not just a straight problem. Many LGBT Youth have unprotected “straight” sex too. Find out how you can protect yourself and your friends from HIV, STDs, and unplanned parenthood today.

Comments & Caveats: While it is true that some people engage in — frequently hypersexual - heterosexual behaviors in an attempt to convince others (and themselves) that they are heterosexual, many do it becasue they are in fact Bisexual, the “B” in LGBT.

Remember that: Bisexuality =/= “in the closet” or “oversexed” or “confused” or “sluts” or “on the down low”. Instead Bisexuals = people who can ♥ people of SAME Gender as themselves + can ♥ people of DIFFERENT Genders/Gender Presentations from themselves.

Remember that male, female and otherwise identified Bisexual people actually exist. That Bisexual people are the largest portion of the LGBT Community. That most people (not all but most) who Say they are Bisexual do so because they Are Bisexual. But that like everyone else Bisexual People, (especially Bi Youth) are susceptible to arm twisting by authority figures.

So Don’t Be That Person who — becasue of Your Own issues/non-acceptance — teases, torments, redefines, lectures, bullies and coerces a Bisexual Person back into the Closet (as straight/hetrosexual) or the “2nd Closet” (as gay/lesbian).

Want more info? Check out: BiNet USA including the BiNet USA Facebook Chat Group; the Bisexual Resource Center; or Bisexual Index. Groups, NGO’s, Researchers and Academics should also see: BiUK, BiReCon, American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB), the Journal of Bisexuality and Academic Bi.

"how dare you exist and how dare you try to be treated well, how dare you ask to be accommodated..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:39:36 -0400

““how dare you exist and how dare you try to be treated well, how dare you ask to be accommodated instead of assimilate and how dare you challenge the order of the world! i benefit from it so don’t change that from me!””

- the ultimate message in most hate mail (via fabianromero)

The Monosexual Privilege Checklist

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:54:06 -0400

The Monosexual Privilege Checklist :

bidyke:

radtransfem:

I can’t believe I haven’t posted this yet. Click the link above to read it.

Tumblr, I know you like to raise certain objections when you read this list. I think many of them are unfortunate and miss the point. Of course, my followers are excellent and won’t make any of those mistakes, but just in case, here are some things to think about before responding:

Don’t say that monosexism doesn’t exist. In fact, why not read about a report which points out that, however oppressed a monosexual is, add “bisexuality” and they get to be oppressed more! Yey!

Don’t say that, because you as a monosexual don’t get a particular privilege or set of privileges, that those privileges aren’t linked to monosexuality. This is a list of privileges that, for some person or group of monosexuals, would generally go away if they had otherwise identical characteristics but were bisexual instead. No one monosexual has all of them.

Don’t say that, because some bisexuals may be able to sometimes access some of these privileges, that these privileges aren’t linked to monosexuality. This is a list more about general trends than an analytic proof which inevitably describes the condition of every individual. If you want to think about individuals (which I’d suggest is missing the point), instead consider whether an individual’s access to that privilege exists in any tension to their bisexuality, is based in any way on how others see their bisexuality, or in how they express their bisexuality.

Do remember that, in general, the less other privileges you have, the less likely you are to have a privilege on this list. Likewise, the more other privileges you have, the more likely you are to have access to these.

Don’t say “these are just straight privileges”. It shows that you haven’t read the checklist and the notes.

Do actually read the notes around the checklist and the discussions in the comments. Chances are they have covered any objections you might have.

All that said, I’m broadly monosexual, so while what I’m trying to do here is to stop other monosexual people messing up, I’m not immune to messing up myself. If any bi people working from within a similar framework to bidyke want to correct me on the above points, just say the word and it’s edited.

All that said: here’s the checklist!

<3 This is the one of the best commentaries I received on this post, ever ^_^

for those who have not read it yet (and REMEMBER to Read the Notes & Clarifications so you don’t end up make yourself look foolish in the comments)

So lemme get this straight, you’re in the monosexism and biphobia tags...

Sun, 19 May 2013 17:30:00 -0400

So lemme get this straight, you’re in the monosexism and biphobia tags...:

bidyke:

timelordtimeshare:

So lemme get this straight, you’re in the monosexism and biphobia tags saying that monosexism doesn’t exist and is homophobic and biphobia isn’t a big deal etc, and your big defense is: you’re bisexual…

Well, I’m bisexual too jackass and I’m of the opposite opinion, do we cancel each other out or what?

Or are you just privilegeing your thoughts, analysis and experiences over everyone else’s because you’re one of the “good bisexuals” and not one of those mean old bi tumblr social justice warriors that rock the boat with statistics and critical thinking?

Literally the worst argument ever, try again, or don’t.

I think the bisexual biphobes phenomenon is disturbing, but also makes sense.

First - people who have only heard about the monosexual privilege checklist second hand, or who have read it without reading the disclaimers and clarifications around it - don’t actually know what it’s about.

I think that most people who have heard about it, heard about it on this level. Especially on tumblr, where like +90% is read-a-single-post-and-reblog. These people have no real reason to assume that the list is about anything other than gay and lesbian people, because biphobia is widely considered as an inner-community type of “inconvenience”. Very few people actually know about the terrible statistics and more structural forms of oppression working against bi people.

When people think about biphobia, they think “Oh, it’s the stereotypes/nasty attitudes we get from gays and lesbians”. Without a framework to think about this concept, people will fall to whatever they do know. They have no way of knowing that the list means something else completely.

Second - bi people have an interest in being on gays and lesbians’ “good side”. They do, in fact, get cookies for it. Their opinions are validated and supported by gay and lesbian people and communities, they are well received, and allow them to get ally cookies. Stepping down on bisexuals as a group is one of the quickest ways to get validation and support in gay and lesbian contexts, whether liberal or radical. It does and will get you points. So there’s the benefit in that - I think it’s a survival technique which allows some bi people to step into gay and lesbian communities on the backs of all bi people and communities.

Symptom of something that has been observed to happen all the time to many different groups who are under the thumb of a higher-status group, think popular tropes about Bitchy Female Bosses i.e. in “Working Girl”, “The Devil Wears Prada”, et. al. And this can happen even if the person/group themselves are Also Put-Upon, (see Julie Bindel for example). As has frequently been observed, “being a member of a despised minority group has not yet been shown to make anyone into a saint”.

queerbookclub: I recently finished another collection of...

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:22:00 -0400

queerbookclub:

I recently finished another collection of Alison Bechdel’s amazing Dykes to Watch Out For. It struck me that her comics dealt with the same issues and divisions regarding assimilation, corporatism, and bi & trans inclusion that queer activists still struggle with today. In 1994. And she was killing it.

Essential reading.

Yeah on that bi & trans* inclusion thing … we (the frequently overlapping) trans* & bisexual communities have been working on it together since, what, at least 1974 … so next year it will make 40 years now. Are we there yet?

Clap your hands if you believe in bisexuals . . .

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:46:04 -0400

Clap your hands if you believe in bisexuals . . . :

fromthelipsofawitch:

impersonatingauthority:

Straight Male Co-Worker: [something about my experiences as a gay man]

Me: Well, actually, I’m bisexual, so I-

Straight Male Co-Worker: I don’t believe bisexuality exists.

We’re having a perfectly pleasant conversation, till this dude interrupts me to tell me…

Well, the next time someone tells you they don’t believe Bisexuals exists, (particularly in the workspace…) wait until they ask you to help them with something…and then say…well sorry I don’t exist

good idea

bushgsa: jenyockney: A little UK bi history timeline from...

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:32:27 -0400

bushgsa:

jenyockney:

A little UK bi history timeline from “Getting Bi in a Gay / Straight World”, which you can get as real live inky bi booklet from BiPhoria

Always good to take a look at important people and places: as for me, I’m surprised Torchwood was the first UK television show to normalize bisexuality.

bisexual-lady problems

Fri, 17 May 2013 21:59:19 -0400

straight people: ugh you're bisexual? why though, you have a boyfriend!
gay people: ugh you have a boyfriend? why though, you're bi!

Really? So in your estimation all bisexuals are nothing but...

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:15:00 -0400

Really? So in your estimation all bisexuals are nothing but deceitful privilege-grubbing closet cases who have no actual place in the lesbian community?

And you personally would never entertain the thought of having any sort of relationship with one of Them yourself?

Funny how I don’t seem to recall your saying that to me last night when you invited me to come home with you from the clubs.

hippist: kalories: one of the greatest things ive seen in a...

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:10:30 -0400

hippist:

kalories:

one of the greatest things ive seen in a long time

reminds me of “ I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then I ask myself the same question.”

bisexual-books: The Bi Weekly Show takes on a Kickstarter...

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:58:00 -0400

bisexual-books:

The Bi Weekly Show takes on a Kickstarter documentary that has a VERY narrow view of what Bisexuality is, imploring Bi folk everywhere to either support Bi created projects or endure a parade of crap that claims to be about our community. Kyle also endorses a book by Bi Activist and writer Shiri Eisner called “Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution”. And oh yeah, another plea to the producers of Survivor to put Mr. Schickner on the show, making him the first out bisexual player ever on the show.

I absolutely agree with what Kyle says here. We need to support Bi authors and filmmakers and speak up for ourselves. That really is for me the big picture issue the more I think about this “The Outsiders of The Outside” issue. It’s not just that what the filmmaker said was stupid, but that it underscores how much people who don’t have a full command of these issues end up speaking for us.

On that vein, I highly recommend “The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe” by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski and I am also very excited for “Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution”.

~ Sarah

You don't need surgery to change the gender on your US passport

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:49:08 -0400

You don't need surgery to change the gender on your US passport :

theevolutionofmandotorg:

http://transequality.org/Resources/passports_2012.pdf

Under the new policy, you can obtain a full ten-year passport with an updated gender if you have had CLINICAL TREATMENT determined by your doctor to be appropriate in your case to facilitate gender…

bisexual-community: Bisexual

Tue, 14 May 2013 23:39:32 -0400

bisexual-community:

Bisexual

What Is the Right Way to Come Out as Bisexual at Work?

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:13:04 -0400

What Is the Right Way to Come Out as Bisexual at Work?:

Q. Dear Civil Behavior: I’m bisexual (female), and I want to be out at work. I just don’t quite know how to slip it into conversation … But, bisexual visibility can only get better if people like me don’t cop out and say we are gay when that’s not true. Any advice on how to make “out bisexual” a little easier? ~ Erica, East Brunswick, NJ

A. Over the years I’ve frequently heard from my bi friends that it’s harder for them to come out than it is for those of us who are gay or lesbian because of the enduring myths about being bisexual. Stereotypes persist, and many people think that identifying as bi means

you’re going through a phase
you’re promiscuous or
you’re really gay but not telling the truth.

If more bi folks come out of course visibility increases. But is work the right place to do this? … BUT without making a “declaration,” don’t our straight colleagues routinely discuss how they spent the weekend with their opposite-sex partner, which is a nonchalant way of proclaiming their sexual identity …

Context is key here … Two bisexual activists, A.J. Walkley and Lauren Michelle Kinsey who write the column Bi the Bi: Two Bi Writers on Big Bi Issues also recommended casual “water cooler”ways of bringing up your sexual identity through current events.

“I was thrilled to hear that Clive Davis came out as bisexual, being bisexual myself,” or “Did you hear that same-sex couples will soon be able to marry in Delaware? It means a lot to me since I’m bisexual.”

Context isn’t the only thing that matters here – consider your company and its commitment to diversity and inclusion as well. Many corporations now have LGBT employee groups; think about getting involved as an out bi person and use that public role to reduce the invisibility of bisexuals in the workplace.

Click HERE to Read the full column

Every other Tuesday, Steven Petrow, the author of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners: The Definitive Guide to LGBT Life”, addresses questions about gay and straight etiquette in his column Civil Behavior in the New York Times. Send questions for Civil Behavior to stevenpetrow (at) earthlink (dot) net.

[Australia]: Here is fab young bisexual person, High School...

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:10:00 -0400

[Australia]: Here is fab young bisexual person, High School Student Stephanie Meachen from Albury/Wodonga in rural/regional Australia speaking at the 2013 Equal Love Rally for Marriage Equality on May 11th in Melbourne

[USA]: News You Can Use - FAFSA Forms to simply list "Parents" instead of "Mother/Father"

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:51:00 -0400

[USA]: News You Can Use - FAFSA Forms to simply list "Parents" instead of "Mother/Father":

No longer will the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) Form say, “Mother” and “Father”. Instead, the form was changed so that a student’s Legal Parents can be listed in a Gender-independent manner.

Today the US Department of Education announced that beginning with the 2014-2015 federal student aid form, the Department will—for the first time—collect income and other information from a dependent student’s legal parents regardless of the parents’ marital status or gender, if those parents live together.

The 2014-2015 Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or FAFSA, will provide a new option for dependent applicants to describe their parents’ marital status as “unmarried and both parents living together.” Additionally, where appropriate, the new FAFSA form will also use terms like “Parent 1 (father/mother/stepparent)” and “Parent 2 (father/mother/stepparent)” instead of gender-specific terms like “mother” and “father.”

(via Bi Parents)

knutscher: bi y

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:34:14 -0400

knutscher:

bi y

midwestbiactivist: Minnesota passes Marriage...

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:36:23 -0400

Marriage Equality + Bisexual Pride Perfect Together

St. Paul Public Works installing rainbow flags on the Wabasha Bridge

St. Paul Public Works installing rainbow flags on the Wabasha Bridge

BOP (Bisexual Organizing Project) greater Twin Cities Metro area

midwestbiactivist:

Minnesota passes Marriage Equality!

Minnesota will become the 12th state to allow same-sex couples to marry after the Minnesota Senate approved marriage equality legislation with a 37-30 vote today.

After the bill is signed into law by Gov. Mark Dayton (D), who has promised to do so, Minnesota will become the third state legislature to approve marriage equality legislation this month and the first Midwestern state to do so (Iowa has permitted same-sex marriages since 2009 after a ruling by the state’s Supreme Court).

“With just a few words we have the ability to bring loving families across the state of Minnesota into the full sunshine of equality and freedom that they have been denied for so long,” said lead sponsor and out gay Sen. Scott Dibble (D-District 61) at the start of the debate, as supporters and opponents could be heard demonstrating outside of the chamber.

Same-sex nuptials will begin in Minnesota on August 1st 2013!

Bisexuals = people who can ♥ people of same gender as themselves...

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:41:31 -0400

Bisexuals = people who can ♥ people of same gender as themselves + can ♥ people of different genders/gender presentations from themselves

fucknobiphobia: Sooo the image isn’t perfect, but I just want...

Sun, 12 May 2013 14:43:25 -0400

fucknobiphobia:

Sooo the image isn’t perfect, but I just want to give a shoutout to the bisexual moms out there, and the moms of bisexual kids who have supported them throughout their journey. You rock!

To those of you who are having problems with your mothers, I wish you strength and courage on this Mother’s Day.

have a a radically queer mother’s day ☺