Bialogue: Bisexual + Queer Politics

Bialogue is an activist/political social justice group working on issues of local, regional, national & international interest that effect the bisexual, non-monosexual, queer-identified and greater LGBTQ+ Community.
Bialogue: Social Justice Warriors and darn proud of it!
Our mission is to dispel myths and stereotypes, to address biphobia homophobia, transphobia and bisexual erasure, to educate the public on the facts and realities of bisexuality, non-monosexuals, queer-identified and all the other not 100% straight and not 100% gay/lesbian people who occupy the vast middle of the Kinsey scale's Bell Curve and to advocate for our Community's right to dignity, freedom to live without the burdens of prejudice and harassment and for our full equality under the law.

Find Bisexuals: in USA on planet earth
Chat with Bisexuals (in the USA)
Bisexual Men on facebook
Bisexual Women on facebook

Bisexual Conferences
   ○ 2012 Transcending Boundaries Conference October 26th-28th 2012 Springfield MA USA
   ○ 2013 Creating Change Conference (CC13) January 23-27 2013 Atlanta GA USA
   ○ BECAUSE 2013 2013 Minneapolis–Saint Paul MN USA
   ○ Bi Lines VI: A Celebration of Bisexual Writing in Reading Music & Culture June 2013 NYC USA
   ○ BiCon 2013 July 18-21 2013 University of Edinburgh Scotland

Bisexual Magazines & Bloggers
      Bi MagazineFacebookTumblr
      Bi MediaFacebook
      Bi Bloggers
      Bi radical (Bisexual-Theory/Queer-Theory) • Tumblr

Famous 'Must-read' Bisexual-Theory/Queer-Theory Articles/Essays
      Bisexuality FAQ
      Bisexuality does not reinforce the gender binary
      Words, binary and biphobia, or: why “bi” is binary but “FTM” is not
      Being Bisexual Means That You’re Only Attracted to Two Genders
      The monosexual privilege checklist
      Why I identify as bisexual + differences and similarities
      Way Beyond the Binary

Bisexuals = people who people of Same Gender as themselves + ♥ people of Different Genders/Gender Presentations from themselves

Posts I Like
Who I Follow


i honestly feel like affirming your heterosexuality in a queer space is an act of aggression, if you have to maintain that youre straight at a gay event in order to feel alright with yourself then you should probably just not be there 

(via bisexual-community)



  • Because everywhere else we are silenced
  • Because everywhere else we are erased
  • Because everywhere else requires us to narrow ourselves down, to hide and disappear
  • Because we can’t talk about ourselves fully, ever, anywhere
  • Because we can’t participate fully in any other space
  • Because any other space will accept us on condition that we don’t talk about our bisexuality or even mention it
  • Because everywhere else leaves us isolated
  • Because everywhere else we grow to believe that we, as people, are flawed, that there must be something wrong with us
  • Because we can never be part of straight cultures and communities
  • But when we come seeking refuge in queer and trans communities, we get our hearts broken by the very people we thought would understand
  • Because we are forever partial
  • Forever scavengers
  • Because so many of us are also trans, disabled, poc, women, working class people, sex workers… we straddle so many intersections and each one adds another circle of alienation, oppression

We need our spaces, and we need them to be intersectional, because

  • We need each other
  • We need the solidarity of our communities
  • We need the support, the validation and the love that only our communities can give to us
  • We need to alleviate that isolation, that loneliness
  • We need to talk about ourselves
  • And to each other
  • We can breathe fire into each other and fill our hearts with rainbows
  • Change society
  • Create revolutions


Because so many of us ARE ALSO trans, disabled, poc, women, working class people, sex workers… we straddle SO MANY INTERSECTIONS and each one adds another circle of alienation, oppression


Recently, Bi Tumblr has been the target of a lot of biphobic trolling, hate and bashing, which I feel has been taking an enormous emotional toll on many of us (to the extent of interfering people’s ability to function or to deal with our daily lives). As bi bloggers and activists, we often feel that we have an obligation to engage in these discussions, that if we don’t do it, then no one will, and that if no one will, then the world would end (or at least, keep on being biphobic/monosexist without being called out). Therefore, one of our biggest problems happens when we overdo it in a way that actually harms us and our emotional well-being.

Up until not-too-long ago, I suffered from similar problems (albeit on facebook rather than tumblr) - I jumped into every discussion without considering the consequences; every time I saw someone who was “wrong on the internet”, I responded immediately (and that happened a lot). It got me into a state of constantly having to deal with aggressive discussions, having to perpetually explain, clarify and justify my positions and having to deal with biphobia, transphobia, sexism, racism and ableism almost constantly. Naturally, this took a huge toll on me in terms of emotional health, energy levels, and ability to keep on engaging in activism.


[Image: XKCD comic depicting a stick figure sitting by the computer. The stick figure is having the following dialogue with an off-panel character: “Are you coming to bed?” - “I can’t. This is important.” - “What?” - “Someone is wrong on the internet.”]

When I became ill with fibromyalgia (two and a half years ago), I found myself in a state of low energies (physical and emotional) and limited time. I had to teach myself how to keep on doing activism without harming myself and my health. Giving up facebook arguments was one of my first decisions, and it came along with a general decision to only put energy into places where I received something back rather than places that drained me.

I think there’s a shortage in our communities in knowledge of how to do online activism in a sustainable way, and without causing ourselves to burn out. And since this has recently become a major issue on Bi Tumblr, I wanted to share with you some things that I’ve learned along the way. So here are a few things that helped and are helping me to better deal with tumblr discussions. I hope it would be of assistance <3

  • Always, always remember that I can choose not to enter discussions.

  • Remember that the world is not going to end if I don’t reply, and that it’s not my job to fix the world all by myself.

  • Choosing my battles – if I’m doing awesome activism in a million other spheres, I don’t necessarily need the tumblr sphere.

  • Remember that I keep a tumblr blog to express my views rather than to argue. The fact that I have put up a text means something in and of itself. If anyone wants to know more about what I think and why, they’re welcome to look some more into my blog. I am not obligated to explain anything or reply to anyone.

  • When I see that people have written things that make me hurt or angry (in other blogs or in the tags), I take a deep breath and ask myself:

    • Do I have to reply?

    • Is it worth the effort and the energy?

    • Will people listen to what I have to say, or just start fighting with me?

    • Is it important enough for me to pay the price in terms of energy, frustration, time, etc.?

  • Clarify my boundaries in discussions where I do choose to participate:

    • If I only want to express my opinion rather than to start a fight, I write that explicitly.

    • If the thread is going in directions that are unpleasant for me, I say that and then stop following.

    • I always try to write politely and reasonably, in calm tones, without using insulting language or words. (If I can’t, then that’s a bad sign).

    • If I notice that I’m starting to get really pissed off, then it’s high time to leave.

    • If this is a particularly important discussion for me, and it’s going into bad places, I ask for help from friends and fellow bloggers, to join in and respond as well.

  • Clarify my boundaries in discussions on my blog:

    • I have a general policy of “No arguments on my blog”.

    • If someone replies argumentatively to one of my posts, I accept that I can’t control that (since it’s technically impossible on tumblr), but do not feel obliged to reply to them.

    • Sometimes when someone tries to reply argumentatively (especially in the asks), I reply briefly by posting a link to a blog post I’ve made in the past or another relevant text. This is because I assume people who ask really do want to learn more about the subject and/or what I think about it (Most actually don’t. They just want to argue. I still put it up because other people can be exposed to it).

    • Sometimes I don’t even reply to asks, if I don’t have the energy to argue or explain.

  • Remember that I don’t owe anything to anyone, and am certainly not obligated to consume my energies explaining something to someone on the internet.

  • My first obligation is to myself – making sure that I’m okay, being attentive to myself and placing boundaries when and where I need them.


[EDIT: September 14, 2014]

One more thing that it took me a while longer to learn:

  • I can choose what content I expose myself to. If I don’t want to be exposed to something, if reading a certain blog or a certain tag - or even being on tumblr - is causing me mental and emotional damage, I can unfollow, or take a break, and that’s totally fine. The world will not end if I’m not up to date.


[Image: A keyboard on fire]


[Image: Photo of the famous Bisexual Caribbean-American Author and Activist the late June Jordan laughing, with the following quotation from her work, I do believe that the analogy for bisexuality is a multicultural, multi-ethnic, multiracial world view. Bisexuality follows from such a perspective and leads to it, as well.”]

Bisexuals are individuals who transgress the artificial socially constructed boundary of gender identity as well as the biologically constructed boundary of sex. Called “Gatekeepers” by the Dagara of West Africa and “Two Spirit” by many Native Americans, bisexuals in these cultures were seen as having a special spiritual inheritance and earthly destiny”

From June Jordan: Boundary Crosser by Reverend Irene Monroe published 20 March 2008 in The Bilerico Project


I love it how people think bisexuals just pulled the term ‘monosexual’ out of our asses.
“I’m a homosexual not a monosexual”

Yeah yeah okay Molly I understand that you don’t want to be called American, but you live in Idaho babe.



Monosexism is the belief that attraction to one gender is superior or more valid than being attracted to multiple genders.

It’s important to understand that being a monosexual is not equivalent to being monosexist, the same way that being a heterosexual is not equivalent to being heterosexist. 

"Monosexism" does not lump all gay/lesbian and straight people together… just the shitty ones. 


The ideas in this pamphlet were generated during a discussion at a UC Davis Bi Visibility Project group meeting and were compiled Winter quarter, 2009.

Nonmonosexual / bisexual individuals self-identify in a variety of different ways – please keep in mind that though this pamphlet gives suggestions about how to be a good ally, one of the most important aspects of being an ally is respecting individual’s decisions about self-identification. There are hundreds of ways to be a good ally – Please use these suggestions as a starting point, and seek additional resources!

In this pamphlet the terms “bisexual” and “nonmonosexual” will be used interchangeably to describe individuals who identify with nonmonosexual orientations (attracted to more than one gender), encompassing pan-, omni-, ambi-, bi-, and nonmonosexual identities. Respect personal choices about self-identification and use specific terms on an individual basis.

Monosexism: A belief that monosexuality (either exclusive heterosexuality and/or being lesbian or gay) is superior to a bisexual or pansexual orientation.


  • Acknowledging that a person who is bisexual is always bisexual regardless of their current or past partner(s) or sexual experience(s).
  • Using the terms “monosexual” and “monosexism.” Educating yourself through articles, books, websites or other resources if you have questions.
  • Questioning the negativity associated with bisexual stereotypes. Example: The stereotype that “all bi people are oversexed.” This reinforces societal assumptions about the nature of “good” or “appropriate” sexual practice or identity. Acknowledge the different ways women, people of color, disabled people, queer people and all intersections thereof, are eroticized or criticized for being sexual.
  • Checking in with someone about what term(s) they prefer – different people prefer different terms for different reasons, respect each term.
  • Being inclusive of bi people of color (BiPOC). This means not assuming that all bi people are white and acknowledging that racism exists within the bi community. BiPOC are often further invisibilized by the assumption that they do not exist.
  • Recognizing that coming out can be different for people who are nonmonosexual than it is for lesbian/gay people. Because nonmonosexuality is invisibilized/ delegitimized, nonmonosexual people usually have to come out over and over. Often, after we come out, we also have to convince someone that we are nonmonosexual, and not “confused.”
  • Recognizing that sometimes it’s appropriate to group people who are nonmonosexual with people who are lesbian and gay, and sometimes it’s not. Example: Healthcare & economic studies on LGB people that separated bisexual from lesbian/gay have found that there are significant disparities.
  • Remembering that no one person represents a community; no two people are the same.
  • Recognizing that privilege is complicated. Bisexuals don’t have straight privilege because we are not straight. Some will never have a “heterosexual looking” relationship. However, many have “passing” privilege in different forms. This might be gender conforming privilege, which people of any sexuality can have. This might also mean being assumed to be straight when with a partner of a different gender. (Note: This often does not feel like privilege but rather an erasure of bi identity). Acknowledgement of one’s own privilege (whichever forms it takes) is always important.

  • Taking a minute before asking questions and looking into the assumptions behind them

  • Recognizing the way that specific relationships function is entirely independent of sexual orientation. Be positive about all relationships –monogamous, polyamorous, or anything else.
  • Remembering that when a person who is bi says something biphobic it takes on a different meaning than when said by someone who does not identify as bi. Witnessing biphobia in any form does not give permission to be further biphobic. Biphobia is harmful to bi people in any form.
  • Remembering that no one individual is more or less nonmonosexual; no one is “truly” or “untruly” nonmonosexual; someone is nonmonosexual if they say they are.
  • Remembering that just because a person who is nonmonosexual reinforces a nonmonosexual stereotype does not mean the stereotype is true.
  • Accepting you might never fully understand someone else’s sexuality, and that it’s okay not to.

Don’t assume…

… You can only be a bi ally I you know people who are bi - Going to events, talking in gender-neutral terms, or being inclusive of bi sexualities speaks volumes to people of any sexual orientation.

… All people who are nonmonosexual are sexual or have had “all” kinds of sex. Not all have had experiences with different genders; no one person will necessarily have had experiences of any specific kind.

… All people who are nonmonosexual are gender conforming. Gender and sexuality are separate and do not depend on each other.

…Someone’s sexual orientation is based on the gender of their partner(s).

… All people who are bi are heteronormative or homonormative.

… How a person who is nonmonosexual defines “virginity.”

… All people who are nonmonosexual do/do not prefer one gender over others. Neither of these is more or less nonmonosexual.

… That people who are bisexual are attracted to everyone. Everyone has different criteria by which they judge whether or not someone is compatible.

… What kinds of sex people are having or how they relate to different kinds of sex. These assumptions might be based on perceptions of gender roles, or assumptions of what someone’s genitalia looks like and how it functions.

Be Careful Not To…

… Attempt to quantify “how bisexual” someone “really” is. This is related to the stereotype that people who are bi are lying or confused and sometimes satisfies a craving to categorize bi people as either “more gay” or “more straight”. People often try to do this by asking someone about their romantic or sexual behaviors. People deserve to have their privacy while having their identities respected.

… Use “Gay” as an umbrella term. Doing so invisibilizes nonmonosexuality. Example: Saying things like, “gay rights”, “gay marriage”, or “gay sex”, implies that bi people are only included when “acting gay”, i.e. when they are engaged in same- sex relationships/sexual activity. Instead, use the terms “same-gender relationship”/“other-gender relationship” instead of “gay relationship”/“straight relationship”. Relationships don’t have sexual orientations.

… Seem infatuated, fascinated or exoticizing of nonmonosexuality.

… Invisibilize bisexuality. Example: “All people are bisexual.” This dismisses people’s identities as if they are a negligible part of “human nature”.

… Ask invasive questions, or interrogate people about their sexuality. This may make the person feel like a scientific study and contribute to a sense of invalidation or isolation.

… Suggest that people who identify as bisexual inherently uphold a gender binary of woman/man. Different people think differently about their identities. Many people identify as bisexual as an act of reclaiming the word from its negative contexts. Many describe being bisexual to mean “attraction regardless of gender”, or “attraction to any gender”. Identifying with the word bisexual can also serve to connect with history and literature.

<3 Feisty Bis

(via bisexual-community)


Working with GLAAD and other organizations BiNet USA is launching Bisexual Awareness Week (9/21-9/27) 

We need help Creating a Logo for Bisexual Awareness Week and will provide a $20 Zazzle Credit to Winning Design. Please send submissions to

Really looking for something simple that says Bisexual Awareness Week



Op-ed: An Open Letter to My Younger Bi Sisters:
Some sound advice for bi women in a world that doesn’t necessarily understand them.

Dear Bi Sisters Who Are in Their 20s and 30s,

In a few months I’ll be 40 years old. In the past 20 years, I have grown more knowledgeable about myself. I faced my fears and anxieties about being rejected by friends and relatives by being an out bisexual. I became more confident about needs: having people in my inner circle who have the skills to be fully engaging and emotionally expressive and who can celebrate my authentic self…

In keeping with the customs of my Haitian elders, I will give you some unsolicited advice — however, the advice I will share is the same advice that I practice myself.

  • Practice radical self-acceptance
  • Be vulnerable
  • Develop your emotional support system
  • Be your own cheerleader
  • Save your emotional energy — stress causes physical pain
  • Don’t give up on romance

Please CLICK THE LINK to read the full article

Like the article? Here are some more resources for you: